I give girls too much respect

WARNING: THIS IS A RANT.
 
You know, there was a time when if you ignored a girl too much, she would become seriously offended. In the olden days, at dancing parties, it is expected that guys would ask for the hand of the girls for a dancing opportunity, which are literally a chance for guys and girls to get to know one another better. In fact, on the girls’ wrist would be some sort of tag which lists down the guys’ names, which indicates with whom the girl has had the opportunity to dance with. And, if a guy somehow enters the dancing party but he doesn’t dance with the girls, the girls would be very angry at that guy for giving her the cold shoulder. Something is seriously wrong with him.
 
I have nothing against meeting female friends, in fact I look forward to every such opportunity. But somehow, in this day and age, I cannot help but feel that the attitudes of girls have changed so drastically that it is near impossible for me to know most of them any better.
 
Let me illustrate my point. In order to befriend anybody, you don’t ignore them. Which is why, when I meet female friends, I greet them and engage in friendly conversations with them. I may even try to invite them out for lunch or dinner, or watch movie. Isn’t that what normal friends do? Strangely enough, by this point something is already wrong. So as not to include too many details, I’ll just say that girls would start to avoid me, ignoring my calls or messages. It seems as though my attempts at knowing my friends better are scaring them off instead, and I do not understand why. It’s not as if I am going to eat them or what. And it got to a point whereby I simply had to stop and take a break before I lose anymore friends.
 
I did some evaluation, and figured that perhaps, it was my over-eagerness that had scared off my female friends. Even normal friendships take time to develop, the trust had to be built up first. I cannot just rush a friendship along and expect things to turn my way. And therefore, I decided to change my strategy, one that is based on giving respect to the girls. I can get to know girls, but it is up to them to decide whether they want to develop a friendship with me. I will not assume that I can invite myself to be their friend, and if they do not want my attention, I will respect their decisions and ignore them. Simply put, if I ignored the girls, I cannot possibly offend them since I am doing absolutely nothing towards them, not saying an offending word or even looking at them, least the girls think that I am staring at them with some sinister motives.
 
I should say that, with my new approach, I really managed to stay on talking terms with my female acquintances. But something is missing. Notice that I use the word "acquintances". I may know them as someone that I had met before, but there’s not much friendship involved. How to, when there’s hardly any interaction between me and the girls? Apart from the occasional "Hi", "Bye", and asking of information, I am not getting to know the person any better, and vice versa. This is not a friendship. And given that I can still be on talking terms with them, this is as good as it gets. Sheesh. But out of respect to the girls, I figured that this is the best way forward to making friends, respecting the idea that they may not be interested in me in the first place.
 
Well, there was someone who allowed me to be her friend, and it was quite a while later before I learnt that she was already attached. However, continuing on with my approach, I continued to give her my respects and I am still her friend. But, this has got me into some serious thinking whether there is still something wrong with my approach. And I came to some startling conclusions, which I shall illustrate in the below example.
 
Supposing you meet a girl whom you once had a crush on before. You greet her "Hi". "Hi" she replys. "Hi", "Hi", back and forth, then "Hi, this is my boyfriend". And you say "Hi" to him also. If you even have any human decency left, not only you shouldn’t have said "Hi" to the girl, you should have scolded the girl, and not just scold the girl, but scold the girl AND the boyfriend. But no, you don’t do that, because you give the girl TOO MUCH respect. You give the girl far more respect than she actually deserves, especially when she’s not going to be your girlfriend anymore.
 
After coming to the conclusion that I give girls too much respect, I therefore pledged, not to give the girls any more respect…. than necessary. My female friends will not receive from me more respect than they deserve, and that is dependent on how receptive they are to my friendship. And I can still choose to give them whatever respect that they want, at least this time on my own accord, instead of my wholesale giving away of respect previously. I suppose, extremity on either of my approaches is not going to work, but striking a manageable balance betweeen the two may allow me to, at least, live happier.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: