Looks can be deceiving…

I’ve just completed my annual reservist in-camp training, which had lasted for the past two weeks. Apart from brushing up our military skills, the ICTs were also a good time for army friends to catch-up with one another, and share our experiences with regards to our careers, relationships, etc. Indeed, after having known each other so for many years, some of us had already moved on with our lives, getting attached, married, and even starting a family, while others are still just as single as they were at the very beginning.

In fact, as each of us come from different backgrounds and had gone through different paths in life, it is always a good idea to learn from someone else’s experiences on finding the right partner, as you can get to see things from that person’s unique point of view, which you may be unaware of. As such, often during my chats with army friends I would pay attention  to whatever advice, tips or ideas that they would like to share, and that I can possibly use.

However, at many times the discussions would be skewed into some other directions, which happens whenever someone gets inspired to tell of an actual story that he had witnessed outside. An army mate spoke of his bank colleague, who somehow managed to negotiate a consensual affair between himself and his China female co-worker. Another told the story of his fellow TCM female coursemate, who is married with three children. She is aware that her husband has extra-marital affairs, but she still sticks with him as he is rich. And besides, she even conducts affairs of her own, under the guise of attending her courses but actually skipping her classes.

From his observations, the same army friend also cautioned that the girls from China are not to be trusted, they are here only to cheat their way towards obtaining a Singaporean citizenship, and also stealing your money in the process. He also added that the highly educated China girls are only interested in finding partners who are of equal or even higher education qualification than them, provided that they also have money of course. Too bad… although that does explains why my colleagues suddenly cannot even notice me in the same office, in front of her.

Another friend related the story of his cousin, who married a Vietnamese bride. After getting her citizenship, she borrowed quite a sum of money from her husband, supposedly for overseas studies. But she absconded to Australia and gambled all the money away. During the divorce proceedings, she even further demanded a lot more money. Someone also shared the story of this honest and down-to-earth guy, who thought that he had found the love of his life. That was until he discovered that the girl was only interested in scamming him, his family, and his friends into joining an insidious pyramid scheme investment, and that she was trying to psycho him into doing the same scam as her.

… Listening to all these sad/bad/horror stories can sure put a dampener on the mood of even the most optimistic person who is in the search of happiness in life. And this was not helped much either when any further attempts at asking for some useful, practical tips and suggestions, always quickly degenerate into derogatory taunts such as, “You desperate is it?”, “How come you keep failling?”, “This kind of girl you also want?”, etc. Remarks which serve no purpose other than reveal that, sadly, for those who had managed to move on with their lives, most seem uninterested in sharing their success story to someone who is eager to join their ranks, and that they would rather revel at the lack of achievement in the said person, regardless of whether they themselves had gone through the same difficulties. It’s as if love had come all too easy for them, and the failures of others seem to be their only narcotic, and they want to keep it that way.

… Okay, perhaps the ONLY practical idea that I’ve heard was how someone managed to express his interest to his girl, by grabbing her hand while they were dashing across the road. Good thing that the girl wasn’t only thinking that he was only trying to be helpful. And it may not always work under similar situations.

But anyway, now that I had completed my LAST ICT, it’s just too bad that the friends whom I thought are in the best position to give me tips and advice, simply refused to do so. And I’ve learnt that what appears to be a good, best solution or idea on the surface, may not necessarily translate so when you go about putting your effort into it. That’s not a reason not to try though, just be more aware of what actually goes on around you, so that you can make the informed decisions that you can believe is right.

One Response to Looks can be deceiving…

  1. Fulltime Traveller says:

    Well, there are many different ppl in life…some helpful,while some exist to test your patience to make u a better person. Don’t give up in your pursuit of happiness ‘cos You are getting closer and closer :) Believe in yourself ;)

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