Not one of you

I used to hang out with this group of friends, we would usually meet on Sundays, but sometimes we would meet on weekdays as well, either for dinner or for movie. At first it was rather fun, as I was hanging out with people of my same age group, everybody seemed to be quite warm, welcoming and friendly, and I can get to know people from my generation. In fact I can even say that it was nostalgic for me, all that singing kinda reminded me of my school days.

As usual, I had always made the effort to widen my circle of friends, as it was in this case. And of course, it would be in my interest to meet new friends such that, perhaps I will meet someone who can develop a friendly interest in me so that I can actually make some progress towards moving on with my life. And I never let myself be too discouraged when at times things do not go in my favour, such as if some of those girls just cannot look in my direction whenever I smile and say “Hi” them, it’s as though something in their mind thinks that I am some kind of a monster that is going to eat them or what.

Never mind about that. But what more discouraging is that, whenever I decide to further develop my relationship with any particular person, none of those friends ever had the decency to tell me that she is already attached with someone else. Everytime I had to find that out by myself, and it makes me very angry, for I could have saved much of my time and effort if they could have told me about it in the first place. This was especially so when most of the times the supposed “couple” had never displayed any outward signs that they were already an item. It is as if they’ve got something to hide, which I think is wrong since I believe that there is no need to keep secret an true and honest relationship. They can just show it to the whole world so that everybody can be aware of it. I mean, it’s now the 21st century isn’t it? Attitudes had evolved.

And so my association with these believers only got increasingly frustrating, after a while I really got fed up of attending the weddings of the people that I like. And the last straw came when yet another girl that I was trying to get to know better, AGAIN I had to find out by myself that she was already in a relationship with somebody that I know. And I never even saw it coming, neither of them had ever given any indication that they were getting together. Furthermore, I think that the guy was quite undeserving since he is such an aloof person who had never put in any effort on his part into building a relationship with any girl.

But more importantly,  I can see no further benefits from my association with them, since almost nearly every venture that I attempt seems to be already undermined by the fact that the girl is already attached, and everybody is so secretive that no one ever bothers to tell me of that fact, leaving me to waste my hopes, time, and effort, over and over again. Even effort has got to have some progress by some point. Just as I told my cell leader when I terminated my association with them (Oh, and I went to her wedding by the way), she doesn’t know how bad it feels when everytime I try to get to know somebody, the person is either unable to say a single word to me, or I’m simply too late.

And I did hope that my friends and I can still meet up for dinner or movies sometimes, but none of them bothered to contacted me again. From what I heard, one person was expecting the other guy to do the contacting, and so no one actually did. And they all still seem to be under the delusion that I actually believe in their ideas and can only think of inviting me for their services or events, all of which I am totally uninterested in. I do know for a fact that they also meet up with other non-believer friends. Funny, I thought that Singapore is a secular nation whereby even if I don’t buy your idea I will still respect your beliefs, even if I don’t agree with or approve of it.

Now that I have cleared that out of the way, let me go into all my complaints about that bunch. Some of them can act very peculiar. One of them claimed that he was watching a movie that was just starting on TV, he suddenly became very agitated and worried when he realized that it was a James Bond movie (“Goldeneye”, iirc.) And the reason was because he thought could inadvertently be committing something sinful and possibly lose his ticket to salvation by just watching the movie’s opening credits (your typical James Bond opening credits, btw) Sheesh, it’s only a movie opening credits, with some artistic expression thrown into it that’s all. In the words of one my friend who heard about this, that guy can “go catch spider” instead.

Some of them can even say the strangest things. One person that I know, a Mr. Chivalrous, suddenly out of the blue he started preaching to the girls, telling them to repent for all the “sinful thoughts” they have on their minds, somehow insinuating that girls were all salivating for the male muscular hunks, which in my opinion is denigrating their dignity.

Many of these believers also place more importance on their faith and beliefs than on their own family. For example, my colleague’s sister, who is an ardent believer, decided not to invite her uncles and aunties and cousins to her own wedding, apparently because she has been brainwashed to only consider her church friends to be her one true family, throwing away the age-old tradition of inviting your family members to your wedding.

Some people will just go off for years-long mission trips, completely abandoning their careers, family and friends while supposedly pursuing the higher purpose of interfering in the indigenous cultures where you have no business being there. Not to forget that they are actually wasting their money away on such trips, when they should instead be making the important decisions in their lives where it comes to finances, career, taking care of parents, finding a suitable life partner, and starting a family.

And even more recently there had been several incidents and scandals that reveal just how two-face and despicable these people are. Some of them think that they have a God-given right to anyhow park their cars blocking people’s houses whenever they go for service. And an unrepentant pastor had even embezzled millions of tithings to support he and his popstar wife extravagant lifestyle. Someone had even gone to the lengths of mocking people of other beliefs during the service itself. In fact, I had once heard a speaker insist that his flock only befriend people of the same beliefs, and not outside the church. What they are more interested in is to convert people into buying their idea with the notion that they are actually doing the person a favour. All these self-righteous and intolerant behaviour totally contradicts what I believe in as a Singaporean, in the principle of equality and respect for people of all races and religions. They should all be ashamed of themselves for blinding adhering to such false beliefs.

It’s just as well that I had never gone too close to these people. For all my efforts I didn’t get what I wanted during my time with them, and I gained absolutely nothing from my association with them either. But I remain ever the optimist, that I will be able to find the right partner one day.

In the meantime, I’ll be in the gym, pumping iron.

P.S. For more exploits of Mr. Chivalrous, you may also wish to read this.

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